Word: yaleness
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...Your Friends: Oh, you didn’t go to a New England prep school? That’s why you don’t know anyone at Yale! No worries, it’s Harvard, so chances are that your roommate, your blockmate, or the kid across the hall did. They’ll know at least five Yalies, so follow them...
...It’s Called Networking: Call up your grandma’s brother’s daughter’s niece’s best friend’s brother who goes to Yale. You’re all family...
...Make Friends with a Townie: But don’t get too intimate—you wouldn’t want to end up with children who aren’t double legacies. Then again, they don’t go to Yale, so that’s one thing in their favor...
...Find a Car: Throw your mattress in the backseat, drive to Yale and voila—a bed in New Haven...
...Yale UHS: Alcohol poisoning? Check. Free hospital bed? Check...