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Because the highs can be so electrifying and the defeats so crushing, players often want help contextualizing the season. Their professions depend on victory, but the Vince Lombardi Trophy can signify something greater than a big win. When asked if a Super Bowl ring serves as an idol for the...
Read: "Eat Your Heart Out."
Purell: Remember when your stock consultant told you that investing in a clear, lube-like gel wouldn’t pan out? Well, look who’s laughing now—Purell’s stock rose 50 points this week on fears of swine flu.
Spin: Oh, how we long for the days when coffee just killed you by rotting out your teeth, introducing a powerful stimulant drug into your bloodstream, and feeding you carcinogenic sugar substitutes.
Mets fans: The New York Yankees are your crosstown rivals. The Philadelphia Phillies are the hated usurpers of the division that is rightfully yours. So of course those two teams are meeting up in the World Series.