Word: yukata
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This is what it takes to be a modern metrosexual: I'm lying on my side on a black leather lounger, dressed in a yukata robe that ends about mid-thigh, soothing New Age music on the stereo, a burning candle jammed in my ear. My skin care specialist explains that the hollow candle will create a gentle vacuum to draw out excess ear wax, impurities, maybe some loose change. I'm somewhat dubious-with a 20-cm candle sticking out the side of my head, I feel less like David Beckham than a human birthday cake-but this technique...
...Then it's into the salon, with the mood lighting and the mini-yukata and the music that was apparently written and performed by hobbits on Valium. If you listen closely, you can actually hear my Y chromosome unraveling. After the candling, I receive exfoliation and rejuvenation treatment. My skin is doused with gentle citric acids. I feel a deep, satisfying tingle; I haven't been this relaxed since I accidentally mixed Ambien and Taiwanese cinema...
...favorite is Kinugawa, north of Tokyo, near the ancient temple town of Nikko. Named for the glassy Kinu River it hugs, the old-fashioned onsen town so relaxes visitors that they wander its streets post-bath in cotton yukata robes. Hana no Yado Matsuya matsuya.co.jp) a venerable inn, features an impressive collection of dreamy Taisho-era portraits of kimono-clad beauties...
After unwinding with green tea in your tatami-mat room, change into a yukata and head to the baths. Before you cannonball in, though, take your washcloth to the showers, soap up and shampoo. Only when squeaky clean should you hit the baths. The indoor one is nice, but the true gem is the rotenburo (outdoor bath). The stone-ringed pool overlooks the river, with your privacy protected by rhododendron and cedars...
Toasty and relaxed from the bath, you don the yukata again and prepare for a lavish meal. In a private tatami room, matronly servers scuttle in with a parade of delicate courses--shimmering sashimi, crispy tempura, individual shabu-shabu pots. Meanwhile, soft futons are laid out in your room, where you will drift off to the gurgle of the river...