Word: zalaznick
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...being insulted accidentally to my face was still pretty shocking. Especially since last October, Zalaznick wrote a column for openletters.net about a producer who accidentally sent her an e-mail in which he called her a two-word derogatory term that this magazine is definitely not going to let me print...
...When Zalaznick got her offending e-mail, she immediately hit REPLY, in order to make the guy panic. I, being more cowardly, just complained to my friends. And really, that was mostly so I could mention the fact that I had a television project. Plus, I was flummoxed by the politics. Confronting her might make her feel so guilty and uncomfortable she would avoid me and thus end our pretend-show business relationship. Or she might compensate by making the show because she felt bad for letting me find out that my script stinks. I was having trouble locating...
...Zalaznick got her offensive e-mail near Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, which made her ultimately forgive the e-mail sender. I got mine right before Passover, which just made me want to eat even more bread. Eventually, I replied to the e-mail, telling her how right I thought she was and that I wasn't hurt. I don't exactly have a real April 19 sense of revenge...
...Zalaznick, as evidenced by her impressive title and ability to spell her own last name, is no fool. Her return e-mail made it seem as if she meant for me to see those comments, using tricky, obscuring, multilayered terms like "kidding--but not really." She'd have had the Americans home from China in two days...
...same mistake. That was until I remembered that I write mean things about people every week in a national magazine. Still, just knowing it's been thought out and edited makes it feel stylized and less real than that e-mail. You should have read what I wrote about Zalaznick in the first draft...