Word: zappa
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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DIED. MILAN HLAVSA, 49, Czech rock star whose underground group, Plastic People of the Universe, rallied 1970s and '80s dissidents such as Vaclav Havel; of lung cancer; in Prague. Hlavsa named his band for Frank Zappa's song Plastic People. The 1976 arrests of band members inspired the formation of the human-rights group Charter 77 the following year...
...Politics," said Frank Zappa, "is the entertainment branch of industry.'' Much as I prefer to avoid quoting the artist behind "Nasty Little Jewish Princess'' and "Camarillo Brillo'' as a political sage, I think he has a point. Flamboyance, pizzazz and showbiz skills have eclipsed policy savvy as chief prerequisites for national politics, and politicians have changed their strategies as a result. This makes perfect sense to me. Only major caffeine abuse could keep me conscious through a policy guru's lecture on the tax code, but if the same wonk dons a pair of shades and blows...
...this is a family magazine and because the English language is not equipped for the task. It was supposed to be a disembodied part of a woman, but it was more like part of a really expensive Halloween outfit to which someone had haphazardly taped a lock of Dweezil Zappa's hair. It felt like wet latex, smelled like wet latex and looked like something Sigmund Freud might have used to make a very twisted point. I figured it was designed for men without hands...
...device plugged into an electrical outlet and came with suction cups. This frightened me even more than the Zappa hair until the people from SafeSexPlus explained that I was supposed to stick the suction cups on my computer monitor once the "cyberdildonics box" popped up. This box could be made darker or lighter by Alexa's controlling the box on her screen and would make my latex gizmo vibrate at higher or lower frequencies depending on how much light she decided to give me. I don't know what sexual experience was supposed be replicated by a vibrating disembodied female...