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Gilbert Arenas, wonder guard of the Washington Wizards, goes by a superhero nickname, Agent Zero, as in the number on his uniform. Here's a more appropriate appellation: Agent Weirdo. Why? This is a guy who at halftime of one game took a shower--fully uniformed--to cool down. He tickles the underarm of a teammate before tip-off for good luck. His addictions are many and, Arenas admits, "pointless," including bad DVDs, vintage jerseys and his latest, crappy basketballs. Arenas is collecting the synthetic balls the NBA unveiled and dumped this season after players complained about cutting their fingers...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: How Agent Zero Saved D.C. | 2/8/2007 | See Source »

...finally made the starting five. It's a chance for him to win over a global audience, and--surprise, surprise--his mind is firing from long range. "I'm trying to get two blimps," he says, smiling. "They'd just fly around the city and say, AGENT ZERO HAS ARRIVED." Let's hope he's just getting started...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: How Agent Zero Saved D.C. | 2/8/2007 | See Source »

...this film. You will not be very drunk as a result of doing this. 7. Even better, drink one shot for every dollar that got into the greasy hands of the money-grubbing Hollywood studio machine as a result of the making of this film. THAT’S ZERO DOLLARS, BITCHES! YEAH! 8. Drink when Lawrence says, “But you’re gonna fucking drink the absinthe, man.” Brooklyn is sooo cool. —Richard S. Beck

Author: By Richard S. Beck, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: SCREENSHOTS: 'Mutual Appreciation' | 2/8/2007 | See Source »

...wasn’t able to ward off the swarms of over-eager freshman. At the same party, two extremely enthusiastic Beirut players proved how manly they were by repeatedly slapping each other in the face. Hard. Did we say manly? We meant messed up. SATURDAY In Eliot Ground Zero, the Canadian Club’s “Mounties and Beavers” seemed far more popular than Canada itself ever was. By 10:30, they were turning people away and by 11, there was an estimated 30-minute waiting time. Those who arrived late got to enjoy...

Author: By Sachi A. Ezura, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: party reporter | 2/7/2007 | See Source »

...metal door in front of me. Needless to say, I was livid.The story could end here, too. I could have gotten a ticket for another flight, gotten home, and written letters to the unnamed airline. Nope. Despite the fact that some sympathetic ticket agents informed me that there were zero flights to the Mile High City within the next three days, they figured out a way to get me home to Denver the next day. How, exactly?By flying me to San Francisco and then to Denver.Now, I was never the most astute geographer, but I was pretty sure California...

Author: By Malcom A. Glenn, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Snowed Out | 2/7/2007 | See Source »

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