Word: zit
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...wasn't particularly big, but I still couldn't imagine pulling off being Principal for a Day with this pimple on my chin. No one is going to accept detention from Principal Zit. Nevertheless, I had already agreed to be part of this program to raise awareness about public schools, so I set off to accomplish the two things I've wanted to do since I was 15: find out what teachers talk about in the faculty lounge and commandeer the p.a. system. I was going to use my light-rock deejay voice and keep repeating that principal...
...defined by TV advertisers and the Internet economy, anyone over 27. Not only did dotcom whippersnappers get spanked by the NASDAQ, but TV's youthquake--when networks unleashed a hot-bodied army of Dawson's Creek clones to capture young audiences--triggered an avalanche of zit fatigue. The teen cop (Ryan Caulfield), the earnest young politicos (D.C.), the sexy prepsters (the never-aired Manchester Prep)--all were dead on arrival, while older-skewing dramas thrived...
...this day and age, magazine editors, lighting directors, cinematographers, etc. aren't going for the natural look. If a star has a zit, scar, mole or other unsightly "blemish," the powers that be are gonna zap it; after all, computer technology can easily give a star a glowing tan and lustrous, poreless complexion. (Which brings me to an earth-shattering question. Who orchestrated Nicole Kidman's makeover? Check out 1989's Dead Calm and you'll see a completely different Mrs. Cruise. She looks fat, frumpy! She's got loads of freckles! Her hair is nappy! Now Nicole is deathly...
...tell-tale signs of puberty, such as facial hair and acne, are strangely absent. His skin is as baby-smooth in "The Blue Lotus" (set in 1930s Shanghai) as it is in his final adventure, "Tintin and The Picaros" (set in 1970s Latin America). Forty years without a single zit or wrinkle! That's as amazing an ability as Superman's X-ray vision...
...remember middle school? That's right, that time when a fleet of Martian zit-creatures had declared war on your face, when you had about $3,000 worth of metal clamped to your distorted teeth, and an lzod alligator adorned every article of your clothing...